Sunday, December 26, 2010

Alright so

I've realized I'm gunna need a dog when I go on my trip. Like, for sure. It's kind of a must.
Imagine little me, setting up my tent alone in a site filled with other people and some person walks over. He says, "Hey there, how ya doin? You here all by yourself?"
"Oh, well that's interesting. Have a good night!"

Later that evening, while I'm sleeping soundly in my amazing teal colored REI sleeping bag, dreaming about hiking...

ZIP! Bash! Now I'm dead/unconscious and about to be raped.

Now imagine this situation with a German Shepard by my side...

See my point?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Why does

being honest feel like you're breaking pieces of yourself off?
leaving them on the floor, crossing your fingers for them to be picked up, not swept aside.
then turning away with your head held high when the pieces are ignored... keep your pride in check. in check

I was

asking for it


everyone should understand that i love ballet with my whole little heart and that one day i will dedicate my whole life to becoming a ballerina. idk if it'll be when i'm 50 or 23 but i need to do it. i need to work at those tiny idiosyncrasies over and over again until i go mad. i need to kill myself trying to be graceful, to lift, to lower my shoulders, to turn out my leg, to raise my chin, point my foot.
i can't wait for my toes to bleed from doing point. i can't wait to hate my teacher for pushing me so hard.
i have such a deep passion for an art form i've hardly tried, i don't get it. i usually have to realize i'm good at something to fall in love with it, but i mean.. my "stumble" sends me to ballet pictures all the time. i cry during ballet movies...ballet shows. my ballet dream is like a 5 year old's dream to be president. possible but seemingly impossible.
but definitely possible.

I'm officially

beginning my process for writing music. i think lyrics will need to be my first start.
emotions into words into song. i've started writing a little bit. trying to keep a tempo.. a beat of some kind.
oh and not to sound generic. steering away from using cliche words and phrases is difficult. when there is a file in your brain, stock full of words that easily express your feelings, stopping yourself from tapping into it is hard.

it's also difficult to not be overly obvious about who you're writing about. maybe all the artists out there make it really clear to the person they're writing about too, but it seems inconspicuous to the rest of us. doubtful.
hello, just be creative please. pleaaase. i've gotta tap into this part of my talent. i have a feeling it's there, and i think everyone can do whatever they want, so i'm gunna do it.
i'm gunna have a song or two ready... and it'll be good. so there.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Sometimes all

my brain wants me to say is "nevermind"

Friday, December 10, 2010

Today was

my last day of classes. No more college for Natalie. She's done for a while.
Well.. I have finals next week. BUT my classes are done.

I left art history and wanted to hug my professor, share with him the moment I was having. He would have taken it in with me. He's that kind of man, you'd know I was right if you knew him.
That's a moment I'll regret for a while. There's seconds in life that are full of human spirit and opportunity. They're on the brink of being something you'll always remember. And sometimes I let my feet fall into them. Other times... fear stops me. Even if it is just for a second.
Hesitation is your worst enemy. Fear and hesitation.
If you wait, you'll miss it. You will, and it will be gone forever.

I can't get that back. But I guess that's alright.
I connected with another person today, in a very surprising way. So I guess it all comes out even.
Nature is constantly trying to achieve equilibrium. It's a fact. Symmetry and equality.
We'll never get there, but all we can ever do, day to day, is try.

If I told

you everything you could have been, would you care to miss yourself as much as I did?
I wish you'd see how lovely you could have been. How fun, real, exciting and full of talent and life.
Why did you let yourself rot?
You decayed, from the inside out.
A rotten pumpkin, in late November. Crumpled and blackened, forgotten on a porch you don't belong to.
It's only days until they notice you. You molded, destroyed piece of art. Worthless now, they'll throw you out.
You'll be amongst the rest of the trash, where you belong now. Mixed in with the filth, disposable and pointless. Deteriorating until you're gone.

You could have been so much more. You really could have.

There's something

about you. when i look at you, sometimes i can tell how much you've loved in your life. i can feel how much heart you've given away. it's like there's bits of you missing.
All i want to do is catch them in the air, those bits of you, that are slowing gliding down through the air, like a feather. the wind holding the bits of you up enough that they don't ever land on the ground too hard.
Thank goodness they didn't shatter. Thank goodness you weren't made of glass, or maybe I would never see those bits of you, floating in front of me. Those pieces of love you've already let go of.
I wish I could catch them and keep them for myself. They aren't mine, though.
Even if I tried, my hand wouldn't grasp them. The feathers would float just past my fingertips, dancing around my hand. Teasing me.
They weren't made for me. I think I can learn to know that's okay. Because it is okay. It's okay that life may never let me have my own bits of you. A real part of me hopes it does. Wishes. But I can't control that. You can't either. And that's okay.
Because you'll keep loving and floating and loving. You'll lose more bits of you too.
But that's okay, because I will too.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I woke up

crying this morning.
I dreamed I had stage five terminal brain cancer, with only days left to live.
My father took me in a car, on a long car ride up many highways I'd never seen before. We ended up in a vintage town filled with history about maralon manroe and james dean. that kind of place. We came into a diner and sat down. The food was already at our table, my dad had called and ordered ahead. He got me a steak, mashed potatoes and some greens. A meal he knew I hadn't had in years but have always loved. I started crying. It felt like my last meal. Like we only had hours left together.
My dad told me waitress I had brain cancer. She didn't know how to react, I kept crying. I told my dad that there weren't many men in the world like him, that would do this.
When we were done eating I told him I wanted to shave my head. Not because I was about to lose it, because it was too late for treatment, but because I'd always wanted to.
He simply stood up and started out the diner. I followed, saying that it was probably a bad idea.
Then I woke up. Crying.
We are so lucky to be alive.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Take me

with you, ducking to get into our cave we made with my pillow cases and old dresses.
my flashlight can light our way, deeper i crawl behind your feet, wrapped in socks
adventures, we never let them stop. edges of my sheets lead to loving, laid on the ground.
bells and pots and pans. silver spoons and rubie red dirt

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I woke up

really early today on accident. But I know I'll be running late as I leave for class. It's just who I am.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

There is

one show on television that is actually good. The Big C.
I am an avid show watcher of various programs such as Community, 30 Rock, Weeds, Chelsea Lately and more, but all of them are close to mindless entertainment (30 Rock actually has pretty great writers..) BUT none hail in comparison to The Big C on showtime.
The acting, the writing and the way it's produced is top notch. I haven't deleted a single episode from my DVR b/c I can't bring myself to. Each episode is fantastic.
I seriously advise all of my followers (you know, the three of you haha) to watch this show from start to end. The last episode of the first season just aired Monday night.
It leaves me feeling uplifted but reflective. Motivated and grateful. It's funny, sad, serious and sexy. BLAH i've neeever liked a show so much before (besides maybe Grey's Anatomy but now that show SUCKS)
Go watch.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Here's some

Friedrich Nietzsche quotes i like:

"He that humbleth himself wishes to be exalted."

"There are no facts, only interpretations."

"In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad."

"We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the way in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us."

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."

"God is a thought who makes crooked all that is straight."

"We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once."


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I used

to own one of these little guys. For about a week I brought him to my fourth grade classroom. He was a hit. I don't remember his name or "why" he died. lol. Hedge hogs are cute though. I remember bringing in winter gloves to hold him.

I voted today

for the first time. Waahoo it was easy. I don't know how much I believe in voting/the government/my power in it but hey, you gotta do what you can to have some kinda of voice, i guess. they make it very easy for people, I'd say.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I think

the key to life is destroying fear

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Tired and Comfy,

I lie on my couch. eyes still spinning from hours ago. mind switching in and out of beautiful flashbacks. a moment. a minute. an hour that went by in a flash. life can be enjoyed in huge ways... pleasure and happiness are vastly available. To know yourself enough to bend and turn in ways you never have is a perfect place to be.
A caught eye. a kiss. a beat and a vibe. a conversation, conversations filled with lovely connectivity. there's nothing like it.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Right now

thousands of people are gathering/gathered at the National Mall in DC for the Rally to Restore Sanity/Keep Fear Alive. I felt very compelled to attend said Rally, as I am a huge fan of both Stewart and Colbert, but due to both my lack of confidence and poor planning, I'm currently sitting on my couch in sweat pants.
I'm attending a very big event tonight (I spent several hours making a costume for it yesterday) and earlier in the season decided that festivity would be sufficient for my '10 Halloween weekend. However, upon learning that not only my brother, sister in law, and niece were attending, but also my big sister's best friends, I felt a stab of jealousy. Then learned there was an actual bus going from the Rally to the event! "I must go!" said I.
Around 9 PM my planning commenced. With a 27 dollar Greyhound ticket purchased all I needed to do was hash out the details.
Fuck details.
Several hours of pour internet connection and confusing options and limitations to my travel plans, I resorted to calling a friend, Both, for dear help. After embarrassing myself with my panicked attitude and indecisive self, I finally rested on the fact that it just wasn't practical. For the extreme lack of money I currently have, even my wasted 27 dollars isn't enough leverage to get me there.
So too all Rally attenders, I hope you enjoy this fabulous day of sanity and reason. May the merry commodore of American spirit be with you all. For me, I'm just going to enjoy my "event" to the fullest extent with a little tiny bit of cash left in my pocket.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

The leaves

are letting go today. Driving this morning, each gust of wind brought a beautiful rainfall of orange and yellow leaves. I love how they dance through the sky. Kissing the edges of each direction they take. Fluttering past me. I reach my hand out, hoping to touch them as they glide through their journey to the ground, to sit, to rot, to be forever. Their lives are so futile. Water and sun birthed them through the branches. They grew green and strong and held on tight. The cool breezes and night freezes made them weak. Tainting their pigment, loosening their grip to their anchor branch. The wind gusts them away, resting them on the floor of the earth. They toss around and dry out, then get caught up in the soil some how. They decay. They desinegrate. Soon enough they are indesiferable from the rest of the ground.
Humans live the same way. Its as simple as that. Birth, growth, strength, life, then exposure to the elements. Weakness, then death. We fall from life and become part of the earth. Our limbs entangled with the roots of trees and old leaves. Eventually, our bodies are no different than the dirt on our shoes.
Its as simple as that.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Stink bugs and squirrels

need to go away. for good.
nuff said.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

You're so perfect

with your golden shinning, wispy hair. your graceful hands and your pleasant, entrancing voice. you're laugh is contagious and your smile adorable. so genuine. its like you smile through your heart, not your mouth.
you give off light and energy constantly. even when your sad or feel anxious or afraid. you feel caged, like a bird. but you still sore. every day you sour. you're soul and spirit illuminate the people and earthly things around you. You fly through them.
its clear how truly a part of this earth you are. You exist within each other. One can't survive with out the other. If you died and never rejoined the soil, the soil would rot away. with out it in you, you would rot away. breathing together, as always.
your naturally smooth figure and your comfortable posture. your legs, so womanly. and your cheeks, so fresh.
the lacy, casual and beautiful clothing your wear. how it drapes off of you but still shows us the beauty of your body. Not as an object to be admired but more so that the life of your body can be seen. your essence shines through your body.
you see life in the day. you try your best to enjoy each hour, desperately trying not to look too far ahead. That's scary and things will happen as they may. you let them may.
i admire you, i see you and respect you for who you are. I'm not in love with you, just am very happy to be your friend.
I think maybe we're thinking of each other now. that or we're both pondering on the same things at the moment. I'm wrestling with what goals to walk away from and what aspirations to fallow. Is what i'm doing truly the best way to fill this part of my life?

i wonder if i'll let this person know its about them.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Does it

make me a bad person if catching shrimp in my mouth at a hibachi restaurant makes me feel like a cooler person than the people who missed? hmm.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

There was this one day

In Yosemite that I love thinking about. Becky was tired and resting, Liz was getting work done and I decided to borrow her bike and explore the Valley alone. I was wearing my hiking boots, jeans, a black tank top, my grey cardigan, and a red hoodie.
There was a cold front that week for a couple of days.
I took my iPod and decided to listen to a band I didn't know well yet. "Why?"
Liz warned me once that week that there are sandy parts of the trails that are hard to get your bike over. I remember speeding up as fast as I could on that cruiser with low air pressure in its tires. Speeding ahead and lifting my feet from the petals, letting the bike slide through the fine granite sand.
I was listening to "Good Friday" when I stopped to take in this one view. Later that week Liz and I went walking through the field I had rested the bike on the edge of that day. We talked and cried and wished I wasn't leaving.
I kept riding, losing my breath, wishing I could ride for hours but knowing I'd need to turn around soon enough.
As I rode up to this one tree I love so terribly much, I was listening to "Song of the Sad Assassin." I think of that moment every time I hear that song.
The tree's home is on the edge of the river, its roots are huge and strong and come through the surface of the earth. I set down the bike and walked along the roots for a while. I looked at the water and took off my clothes. Just left my underwear and tank top. I didn't wear a bra the whole time I was there. I told myself I wouldn't anymore after I got back but a couple weeks after my return I caved into the societal pressure.
The water was only a couple feet deep. It was freezing. It was perfectly clear. I can't describe how that water looks, feels, tastes, smells, or makes you feel. Its magnificent.
I swam back and forth for a while. My body got used to the dreadful temperature. Its surprising how quickly your body adapts to extreme environments. Our bodies are amazing.
I floated on my back and stared at the sky. I wished I could see the perfect view of Higher Cathedral and the sky at once laying on my back. What to stare at? Such a hard decision.
I climbed out and used my cardigan to dry off. I looked around and slipped out of my underwear and into my jeans. My feet were wet and had dirt and sand on them so my legs felt gritty inside my pants. Shoes and socks. Shaking at this point. Teeth chattering inside my huge, inexcusably ecstatic smile. I felt so alive, alone and alive.
I rode back and felt like I was reentering something I'd recently left behind.

Alone and alive.


is this really pretty girl I know from back home in Georgia. I think I knew who she was, or at least of her for many years but it wasn't until just a few months before I moved up North did we become friends.
I like her because she's truly sweet. She is a kind, fun loving person who is easy to talk to. Her humor is unique and everything she does is somehow adorable. She has a cute hair cut all the time and dresses like a classy lady. Cuz she is one.
Right before I moved to Philly I met a couple of people I really wish I'd gotten to spend more time with.
You know, this past winter she gave me a Christmas CD that her brother's friends made. I thought/think it's hilarious. Crappy singing and sound makers. So great. Surprisingly my sister didn't find it funny. Don't get it.
Anneke is definitely one of kind. She will, without a doubt, have some really fun adventures in life. She'll also be a great wife and mommy one day. You can just tell.
I see good things for her. For sure.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


is why I still don't hate Obama.

Because he's a real person, who's probably trying, even if he's not doing that great of a job. At least he's a person.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

I woke up

calm and comfortable today. Not that most days I'm hyper and in pain, but today just felt better. Clouds covered the sky, but in a good way. They let bits of sun shine through, changing every hour or so, giving me a new view to admire. I wore long sleeves. Scarf. Hoodie. Boots. In a good way.
I did not make a plan, rather just went with where I was going at the time. Just came and went, came and went.
It felt nice today, the people seemed better. The air seemed comfortable with itself. Lingering until it wanted to move. Coming and going.
Simplicity brings me rounded and complex contentment.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I used to think

that exorcise was only a punishment. Something you had to put yourself through because of the lazy, gluttonous choices you previously made. When I would push myself while running or biking, I'd feel negative and unhappy about it. I'd feel like it was a chore I couldn't wait to be through with.
Yosemite changed that. Well, Yosemite changed everything. I realized that pushing yourself only means that next time, you get to go further. Next time, you can have just that much more fun.
Life is supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be enjoyed and embraced. Not survived and endured.
Yes, it does take some survival skills, but it doesn't have to be riddled with stress, anxiety and obligations. Life is what you freaking make it, man. There's no doubt about it.

So go knock on your friend's door tomorrow and say, "wanna come out to play?"

I have

my mother's hands. I only notice sometimes, but its a fact. I wonder if she ever had tendonitis in her left thumb, or if she ever thought her fingers were a little too long. I remember hers being cold. All the time. I don't think mine are. I hope not.

Friday, August 20, 2010


is the most awesome music genre of our time. so much freaking fun to listen to and, even more so, dance to! I thoroughly enjoy listening to it in the car, in my room, in the shower, and out at night. Look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about. Make sure you listen to whatever song you choose long enough to let it build though. It's important to completely grasp what you're listening to.
You're welcome.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Yes this is real

For a comfortable price of 15,000 dollars, you can have a tree bed of your very own!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Isn't it funny

How narrow minded your own thoughts can be? for so long you can believe a certain thing or a certain way, then all of the sudden life swings back around and you're flipped on your ass. As you stand and brush yourself off, you realize how little you really knew and how far off you were.
I thank the universe when it flips me upside down right when i'm ready for it though. Usually the timing is way off.

Monday, July 12, 2010

The last unicorn, anyone?

This reminds me of that Oh So Awesome film of 1982.

$1.50, really??

Okay so before I moved into my new apartment, I had a hard time washing my clothes more than once a month.. something that many fellow Americans view as "disgusting". I however like to not waste energy and water by washing, and therefore further aging the few items of clothing I own, especially when they have no visible dirt and no smellable stench to them.
But now I have a washer and dryer I must pay $1.50 per load for. I ask you, what the crap?
I've already used this system a couple of times, and its killed me to drop three bucks on getting one load done.
But now my sheets need washing. What the crap am I supposed to do?
I don't have 12 quarters! I've been snatching quarters from my sister as it is, and I can't leave her piggie bank high and dry!
WHAT will I do when the price goes up to $2.00?!? It's supposed to, ya know.
This is bull shit.

Flash flu

So I went to my cousin's bridal shower yesterday. It was fun, a little weird just because it's a bridal shower... but fun. All day though, my stomach felt uneasy. I couldn't figure out why, or how to make it go away.. but by the time the sun went down yesterday, my odd feeling turned into full blown flu symptoms. I was achey, definitely running a fever, and super nauseous.
Two Peptobismol pills and 600 milligrams of ibuprofen later, and I was sleeping sound.. only waking up to find myself sweating profusely. Idk what happened, but I'm fine today.. thank goodness.

What I really don't understand is why this has to happen? Yesterday, while basking in my pain and frustration, I was thinking about how we all experience this. All of us get sick and can't touch or hug or kiss anyone for as long as we're in misery. We all have to suffer at a distance from the rest of the world. Is this the universe's way of making us all empathize with the real suffering people in the world? What if the only reason we catch these ass hole bugs that make our world suck for a days on end is so that we open our eyes to the people experiencing much worse pain than us each and every day?
just a thought.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Who moved my cheese?

I realized that little book applies to my life now...

I found my cheese. I didn't think it was possible to find the cheese I found, so I was completely blind to the supply of cheese getting smaller and smaller... When it was gone, I was shocked... I stuck around and hoped the cheese would come back some how. I wanted my cheese back, nothing else was enough.
But I was the mistaken mouse.. I should have gotten my running shoes on and kept looking for cheese, all the while knowing that one day, as long as I kept moving, I would find my cheese again.

We want to savor the good things we come by in life.. But unfortunately, life's good things seem to come in waves. Waiting for another wave to come will only leave you alone and frustrated. You have to keep going and let the waves come to you...
Even though I found the best cheese there is, its gone-and there's nothing I can do about it.
So I can't let myself sit at my cheese hut and wait for cheese to come back, I have to continue my life the way I was before I found my cheese.

When I come across my cheese again, I will stop and enjoy it, while I can...

Monday, May 31, 2010

I kind of

want to get on facebook again. but when i think about what i could do instead, when i make just the smallest extra effort to entertain myself, I think of great things.. like making tea and getting my journal out or reading. hey, maybe i can draw. i need the practice. who knows?
whatever I end up doing instead of facebook, it still just comes down to the fact that i'm without activity this evening-

which is actually okay with me.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

hello definition of awesome

Up state NY

is absolutely gorgeous. I've been here all week.
Super great mountains, fields, forests, streams, lakes, rivers, sunsets and stars.
You guys should check it out.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Last night

I got really full of some ice cream and drove down to the mall to see my friend who works in a skate shop. He gave me boxes from the back of the store so I could start packing :) Then I hung out there for a while, and decided to fill out an aplication.
They said they need more girls to work there, which sounds good cuz i'd much rather work with mostly boys-any day. Girls are weird and take shit personally.
Then a new friend of mine walked in and applied with me. haha it was a great time. I was there for like two hours.
I hope I get the job.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Not only

Did my roommate wake me up from a lovely dream, but she also took the silverwear out of the freaking kitchen. WTCRAP

i had to mix my coffee with a rubber spatula thing my dad gave me. i'm going to the thrift store and buying a fucking spoon.


Sunday, May 9, 2010

woah, oil spill

crazy pictures...

This is...

a picture of my brother getting poop off his leg
thank you, jersey shore.


I just "deactivated" my facebook. I'm upset that I can't permanently destroy it... I'm afraid I'll go back since its so easy to do so.
I want to feel more disconnected than I do now. It will probably take a while to set in.

I did this because I find myself never getting on facebook when things are going well with my life. When I don't feel perpetually bored or alone and I feel satisfied with the relationships in my life, I never sit in front of fb and scan through profiles and pictures and messages.
So I decided to take it out of my life.. I want to fill the space with drawing or exorcising-both I should do more of.
Life is so fleeting, and to spend too much time with your brain turned off, is to waste the point of your existence- to enjoy yourself and everything around you to its fullest.

or at least that's what i think

Saturday, May 8, 2010

My cute lil roommates

whom i hate a lot, decided to start taking back the belongings we decided we would share. Microwave, toaster, trash bag, and now the toilet paper. We all dislike each other, but have somehow managed to be respectful and realistic in this crappy little house. Recently however, things have taken a downturn for a reason i truly do not know.

In my instant state of fury after receiving a smart ass answer to my question of "why did you take the toilet paper out of the bathroom?", I came up with an idea.
We have this big self in the kitchen that has given all of us counter space and a bunch of room to put food. My sister bought it with our roommates back in the glory days of our peaceful household, but our roommates failed to pay her for their portion of the price (right around the time we all stopped being friends, so my sister decided to just own the shelf and allow them to use it)

I took our food off the shelf, put it in our cabnet space/my room, and dismantled the shelf. I laughed as I put all of their food on the floor. In their shelves was cups full of silverwear and plates they didn't want me to use anymore. Its adorable how much effort they've put into trying to slightly inconvienence me.
My sister and I are moving out soon, so I was going to have to take the thing apart soon anyway.

When I came home after destroying the kitchen, my cute lil roommates had taken apart the dinning room table and chairs. As I live in the dinning room of this house, I was quite happy about it. Thanks guys, for taking apart an ikea table and set of four chairs just so I have more space in my room!

Thanks again, roommies. You're the best.

In my past life...

I believe i was an african american from the ghetto.
That's how much i love hip hop/how hard i am.
just sayin.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


"A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man..."
- Einstein

Monday, April 26, 2010


"Star Wars According to a Three Year Old"

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

i'm baby crazy

and this is awesome.

its a belly cast, then a Study after Georgia O'Keef's "Calla Lillies "

i almost killed a woman

on my way back from the art supply store today.
I had a green light, turning left, and was yielding to oncoming traffic.
This woman was crossing the street, unfortunately, at the same time, and because I was paying attention to the oncoming traffic instead of this broad in the wrong place, she yelled and threw her hands up. I slammed on my breaks and motioned where I was watching to the woman, all the while apologizing...
But as I drove off, sliding my hood over my head in shame over my close call, I thought, "hey, what was that lady doing crossing the street there anyhow?"

yeah she was in the crosswalk, but i highly doubt the little white walking man was flashing at the time. no, i'm sure there must have been a big ol' red hand with a SLASH right through it, shouting at this woman to STAY PUT, OR THAT DRIVER WILL CERTAINLY NEARLY CRUSH YOU.

just sayin, it might not be my b.

Monday, April 19, 2010

i had this dream

a few weeks ago where i decided to travel west. Instead of using a train, plane or automobile, i created my own vehicle...
it wasn't motorized nor did it use energy. it was simple. one piece of wood attached to one balloon. It would rest at hip height when not in flight, but when i jumped onto the seat, it would float up past the roof tops. I could steer it by moving my body around and it never went too high.
I would stop my floating adventure to the west everyday and either visit with people or meet new ones. i used it to get out of sticky situations or to get a better view of something. i never needed to fill up the balloon or anything... until right before i woke up, when i noticed it wasn't floating up as high as before.

so if anyone can analyze that for me, go right ahead.

a friend of mine

sent me this picture...
it needed to be shared.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I cut off all my hair

a few months ago. Right as it started getting warmer.
I was on the verge of dreading it, but decided to be noble and donate it instead. (I never dye my hair and don't over wash, use too much product, or style it too much, so it was good hair.)

19 inches, man. I cut of 19 and have 15 to donate. Yes, have. Still have. Key point here.
No... I haven't sent it out. Its still in the pony tail and plastic bag I carried it home in.. sitting in a drawer.
I just don't have the drive or motivation to get this thing out and onto some child's head. I'm just that lazy.
Its terrible.

someone said this to me today

it seems like you have a lot of good pure healthy energy. i dig that

haha what do you mean?


you seem generally optimistic you laugh a lot, you dont keep yourself closed off from people/vulnerable...idk you have good energy

you give off good vibes

that's just from meeting you one night.

wow. Sweet.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Prank or sign?

The other day, I came home from class and found a package waiting for me in the mail box. I'm getting a new phone soon so i thought it was it and was definitely pumped.
Upon reading the packaging though, i discovered I had no idea what was inside.
I tore open the small cardboard box and found a lovely, generous sample box of Tena Bladder Control Pads. Inside was a pamphlet thanking me for my interest in the product and explaining the benefits of the cucumber melon scented, disposable cotton pads.
I know some serious haters in my life, so this coouuuld have been sent me to embarrass me? I'm not sure, but i certainly never requested a sample pack...
I threw them away but i'm definitely wondering how and why i was sent these handy bladder pads.
especially considering my pee problem intolerance... maybe karma will be bitting me in the butt, or bladder, because of my current tolerance levels and i'll sadly need this recently disposed sample pack...
i sure hope not.

Pee pants intolerant

I just need to say... that if you are one of those girls who "tinkles" or "leaks" when you laugh too hard, don't talk to me. Go do some kegel and mind exercises and come back, because that's just not okay with me.
Peeing your pants is for children, and reserved for them only.
Please and thank you.

My dreams

when i was a child, i saved a Saint Bernard from being euthanized at the pound with my mother. I named the big dog Oliver, because i felt like he was an orphan. I loved that dog more than anything. I slept with him, dressed him up in my mother's pajamas... we were besties.
Then we moved to FL for 6 months and my father had him euthanized.haha. yeah i know, it sucked.

So when i grow up, you know, get my own place, have and job and my own money, i'll get a Saint Bernard. I decided this earlier this year.
Just now though, i was stumpbling upon websites and came across this picture.
And i've just decided, i need to do this.
and i will.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Speaking of cafeterias...

A person i know told me a story the other day about an interesting cafeteria worker at HER college. Unlike my example, this worker does indeed have a disability, a mental disability. But all she does is scoop food and clean, so she sticks around. That's all she does... yeah, and masturbate in the girl's bathroom stall with the door open during her lunch break every day.
There's been several sightings, traumatizes, and testimonies given... but the behavior continues.

So again, I propose for her to sport a representation of her acceptance of her oddity. I'd tell you my idea for her pin or what have you, but i think its best left up to the imagination.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Mustache button proposition

Last semester, I had a break between a two of my classes around lunch time, and having had not ever seen the cafeteria at my college, i decided to check it out.
The food was decent and cheep enough so i went back more than once.
On one of my decent enough visits to the cafeteria, I encountered a rather interesting individual. I don't remember her name but she was a black woman who worked the register in the cafeteria. She was interesting because of her aesthetic abnormality. No this woman was not physically disabled or mutated... She was a woman, amongst other woman, who, for one reason or another, has dark, thick facial hair on her chin and lip.
Not just a shadow of awkwardness, but a thick line and patch of super oddness.
I understand that not all people care to adhere to social expectations. I think everyone has the right to be a little odd-or a lot odd. So i have no problem with this woman.
But the sightings got me thinking...

You know when you go to the grocery store and the teenager ringing you up has a fabric cover over his tattoos, has his long hair pulled back in a pony tie, and his gauged earrings are the clear kind... Well, see, this guy is odd-i guess-because he has body art. His employer wants him to blend in, so he covers things and tucks them in. But his hair is still long and his earrings still in-those are his little signs, his message to the world that he is a part of a sub-culture, and that he likes it.

So i was thinking, if you are a woman sporting a stash, obviously you are a part of a sub-culture.. the part that doesn't match with the grocery store clerk however, is that she has no other symbols to tell the world, "I'm part of a sub-culture, and proud of it."
My solution to this unfortunate situation: a little aluminum button pin. I think it should sport an illustration of a couple of mustaches and a thumbs up. Simple, clear, to the point. This way, the woman in the cafeteria could never be confused with the type of woman who is so blind and ignorant of her oddity, that she doesn't realize she's a part of a sub-culture.

I say, acknowledge who you are and let people know you're okay with it.
Wear a tin pin.

I will own a cat...

ONLY if someone makes/buys this for me.

Middle Eastern Slap Fest

The other day in my communication/speech class, my professor was giving an example of how a person can not behave the way they normally would in their home culture in some other cultures... He told a story about a middle eastern brother and sister who were in America for one reason or another. Apparently in their homeland, a woman is strictly forbidden to ever contradict a man in public-especially not a father or brother. Bad news for this sister who decided to say something contradictory to her brother at dinner in America because as soon as she did, her brother slapped her across the face.

This story was meant to be dramatic and surprising... Bad news for me who, as soon as my professor said it, I busted out laughing... and couldn't stop for several minutes.
I mean, it would utterly ridiculous if this happened at your dinner party. Picture it.
You are the host family, out to dinner with your cool new foreign friends. You're expecting a night of interesting conversation made up of worldly views. Then all the sudden, out of no where, you witness a straight up bitch slap.