Sunday, April 28, 2013

it's been a while

It has been a long time since I wrote in a blog or journal... 
I have been so preoccupied with my sketchbook and iphone that I haven't been reaching for my personal pen and paper, or turning to share my thoughts with the internet space. I'm not sure if i'll keep up with this, but i'm thinking it may be a nice awareness practice if i type thoughts out every day on here... my first thought is to share my new goal: 1 hour of internet a day, for 30 days. 
 I'm starting tomorrow, as I have already been on my computer for a long time today. 

Some days I don't spend any time on the internet... other days I use it constantly, usually just to have netflix playing, if i'll be honest. I watch netflix and hbo in "the background" of other activities. it is impossible for me to not sit and watch it though, unless I'm dying my hair. just learned that shows really do sit in the background while I do that. 

I love being blonde. despite having had just walked into a fucking wall, i really like my new look. i feel fresh and ready for summer. I have to get ready for summer though. it's job searching time! 

Tomorrow is painting class and I really don't want to paint on another plastic board. I miss canvas! 

So less internet is a plus. I'm considering taking down my fb. I don't need it and it only gives me a chance to scrutinize myself and others. Yeah... I'll take it down. I get a lot more entertainment out of okcupid anyways, and that can actually materialize into an experience. I don't read the event invites- and even when i do, i almost always forget about the event. I think I hear about stuff through actual people most of the time. 
Plus, a lot of the invites I do get are from people I'm not sure i want to spend time with anymore. sadly, i'm starting to realize the friends i made two years ago with pogo might just be people that i partied with a bunch a while back... I love and care for those people a lot, but i'm thinking i might make more valuable connections if i am a little more specific about my time spent with people- which i have been... 
I have spent so much time at home lately. i really like being here. i like being alone with my cats in my house. it's peaceful and easy. I want to start exorcizing though, for real. it's been too long since i sweat hard. I feel my inner body aging from tiredness. I'm about to go to GA, it would be nice if i felt a little more alive when i arrive. 
 I think, this week, I'll not allow myself to go home after class like i always do... this is something i have said i should do since the beginning of the semester, and i know it works. i can do it. 
I really want to just get all the work done that i need to. it's so important. It's the end of the semester and i have been slacking. I think i will do okay if i actually do well on these last assignments. I don't want to stay up all night all cracked out and stuff. 
I just want to get things done, exorcise and rest. i can do it!!! And then, i'll find a job and it will be exciting and new and maybe by then I wont have a black eye.