Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Religion

"A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man..."
- Einstein

Monday, April 26, 2010

bahaha

"Star Wars According to a Three Year Old"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBM854BTGL0

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

i'm baby crazy


and this is awesome.

its a belly cast, then a Study after Georgia O'Keef's "Calla Lillies "

i almost killed a woman

on my way back from the art supply store today.
I had a green light, turning left, and was yielding to oncoming traffic.
This woman was crossing the street, unfortunately, at the same time, and because I was paying attention to the oncoming traffic instead of this broad in the wrong place, she yelled and threw her hands up. I slammed on my breaks and motioned where I was watching to the woman, all the while apologizing...
But as I drove off, sliding my hood over my head in shame over my close call, I thought, "hey, what was that lady doing crossing the street there anyhow?"

yeah she was in the crosswalk, but i highly doubt the little white walking man was flashing at the time. no, i'm sure there must have been a big ol' red hand with a SLASH right through it, shouting at this woman to STAY PUT, OR THAT DRIVER WILL CERTAINLY NEARLY CRUSH YOU.

just sayin, it might not be my b.

Monday, April 19, 2010

i had this dream

a few weeks ago where i decided to travel west. Instead of using a train, plane or automobile, i created my own vehicle...
it wasn't motorized nor did it use energy. it was simple. one piece of wood attached to one balloon. It would rest at hip height when not in flight, but when i jumped onto the seat, it would float up past the roof tops. I could steer it by moving my body around and it never went too high.
I would stop my floating adventure to the west everyday and either visit with people or meet new ones. i used it to get out of sticky situations or to get a better view of something. i never needed to fill up the balloon or anything... until right before i woke up, when i noticed it wasn't floating up as high as before.

so if anyone can analyze that for me, go right ahead.

a friend of mine


sent me this picture...
it needed to be shared.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I cut off all my hair

a few months ago. Right as it started getting warmer.
I was on the verge of dreading it, but decided to be noble and donate it instead. (I never dye my hair and don't over wash, use too much product, or style it too much, so it was good hair.)

19 inches, man. I cut of 19 and have 15 to donate. Yes, have. Still have. Key point here.
No... I haven't sent it out. Its still in the pony tail and plastic bag I carried it home in.. sitting in a drawer.
I just don't have the drive or motivation to get this thing out and onto some child's head. I'm just that lazy.
Its terrible.

someone said this to me today

Person:
it seems like you have a lot of good pure healthy energy. i dig that


Me:
haha what do you mean?


Person:

you seem generally optimistic you laugh a lot, you dont keep yourself closed off from people/vulnerable...idk you have good energy

you give off good vibes

that's just from meeting you one night.



wow. Sweet.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Prank or sign?

The other day, I came home from class and found a package waiting for me in the mail box. I'm getting a new phone soon so i thought it was it and was definitely pumped.
Upon reading the packaging though, i discovered I had no idea what was inside.
I tore open the small cardboard box and found a lovely, generous sample box of Tena Bladder Control Pads. Inside was a pamphlet thanking me for my interest in the product and explaining the benefits of the cucumber melon scented, disposable cotton pads.
I know some serious haters in my life, so this coouuuld have been sent me to embarrass me? I'm not sure, but i certainly never requested a sample pack...
I threw them away but i'm definitely wondering how and why i was sent these handy bladder pads.
especially considering my pee problem intolerance... maybe karma will be bitting me in the butt, or bladder, because of my current tolerance levels and i'll sadly need this recently disposed sample pack...
i sure hope not.

Pee pants intolerant

I just need to say... that if you are one of those girls who "tinkles" or "leaks" when you laugh too hard, don't talk to me. Go do some kegel and mind exercises and come back, because that's just not okay with me.
Peeing your pants is for children, and reserved for them only.
Please and thank you.

My dreams



when i was a child, i saved a Saint Bernard from being euthanized at the pound with my mother. I named the big dog Oliver, because i felt like he was an orphan. I loved that dog more than anything. I slept with him, dressed him up in my mother's pajamas... we were besties.
Then we moved to FL for 6 months and my father had him euthanized.haha. yeah i know, it sucked.

So when i grow up, you know, get my own place, have and job and my own money, i'll get a Saint Bernard. I decided this earlier this year.
Just now though, i was stumpbling upon websites and came across this picture.
And i've just decided, i need to do this.
and i will.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Speaking of cafeterias...

A person i know told me a story the other day about an interesting cafeteria worker at HER college. Unlike my example, this worker does indeed have a disability, a mental disability. But all she does is scoop food and clean, so she sticks around. That's all she does... yeah, and masturbate in the girl's bathroom stall with the door open during her lunch break every day.
There's been several sightings, traumatizes, and testimonies given... but the behavior continues.

So again, I propose for her to sport a representation of her acceptance of her oddity. I'd tell you my idea for her pin or what have you, but i think its best left up to the imagination.
enjoy

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Mustache button proposition


Last semester, I had a break between a two of my classes around lunch time, and having had not ever seen the cafeteria at my college, i decided to check it out.
The food was decent and cheep enough so i went back more than once.
On one of my decent enough visits to the cafeteria, I encountered a rather interesting individual. I don't remember her name but she was a black woman who worked the register in the cafeteria. She was interesting because of her aesthetic abnormality. No this woman was not physically disabled or mutated... She was a woman, amongst other woman, who, for one reason or another, has dark, thick facial hair on her chin and lip.
Not just a shadow of awkwardness, but a thick line and patch of super oddness.
I understand that not all people care to adhere to social expectations. I think everyone has the right to be a little odd-or a lot odd. So i have no problem with this woman.
But the sightings got me thinking...

You know when you go to the grocery store and the teenager ringing you up has a fabric cover over his tattoos, has his long hair pulled back in a pony tie, and his gauged earrings are the clear kind... Well, see, this guy is odd-i guess-because he has body art. His employer wants him to blend in, so he covers things and tucks them in. But his hair is still long and his earrings still in-those are his little signs, his message to the world that he is a part of a sub-culture, and that he likes it.

So i was thinking, if you are a woman sporting a stash, obviously you are a part of a sub-culture.. the part that doesn't match with the grocery store clerk however, is that she has no other symbols to tell the world, "I'm part of a sub-culture, and proud of it."
My solution to this unfortunate situation: a little aluminum button pin. I think it should sport an illustration of a couple of mustaches and a thumbs up. Simple, clear, to the point. This way, the woman in the cafeteria could never be confused with the type of woman who is so blind and ignorant of her oddity, that she doesn't realize she's a part of a sub-culture.

I say, acknowledge who you are and let people know you're okay with it.
Wear a tin pin.

I will own a cat...


ONLY if someone makes/buys this for me.
kthanks

Middle Eastern Slap Fest

The other day in my communication/speech class, my professor was giving an example of how a person can not behave the way they normally would in their home culture in some other cultures... He told a story about a middle eastern brother and sister who were in America for one reason or another. Apparently in their homeland, a woman is strictly forbidden to ever contradict a man in public-especially not a father or brother. Bad news for this sister who decided to say something contradictory to her brother at dinner in America because as soon as she did, her brother slapped her across the face.

This story was meant to be dramatic and surprising... Bad news for me who, as soon as my professor said it, I busted out laughing... and couldn't stop for several minutes.
I mean, it would utterly ridiculous if this happened at your dinner party. Picture it.
You are the host family, out to dinner with your cool new foreign friends. You're expecting a night of interesting conversation made up of worldly views. Then all the sudden, out of no where, you witness a straight up bitch slap.
Outrageous.